So many people were asking, so here it comes. Welcome to installment number 3 (you may be familiar with "number 2" - highlights from Ecuador) of our ongoing "How to Poop" series. Today, we’re taking a deep dive into the rustic glamour of the composting toilet at Connaty Farms on North Vancouver Island.
Forget what you know about dark, scary outhouses. We’re talking about an architectural marvel that puts your powder room at home to shame. Ok, that's a lie, but it sounded good.
Scenic Vibes and Sky Lights
This isn’t just a toilet; it’s a boutique experience. Featuring:
Shingled sides for that classic West Coast aesthetic.
Transparent roofing for "sky light effects," because why shouldn’t you be able to track the movement of the clouds while you... concentrate?
A live soundtrack: Crows debating in the overhead trees and chickens down the hill loudly announcing their own "deliveries" (mostly eggs).
Initial Impressions
Upon arrival, the local wildlife had staged a coup. The spiders hadn't just moved in; they’d decorated. There was so much spider poop on the seat that it looked like they’d missed the hole entirely.
However, after a brisk encounter with some Lysol and a bit of "get out of my office" energy, the spiders have been relocated, and the throne has returned to its former glory.
No Water, No Flush
The compost design is a masterclass in low-tech efficiency. It features a pee trap that expertly syphons off "number 1," while—thanks to the laws of gravity and careful butt positioning—"number 2" drops satisfyingly straight down.
When the deed is done, don't look for a handle. Just grab the scoop and cover your contribution with a sprinkling of peat. It’s basically like being a giant cat, but with better scenery.
And there is no skimping on the essentials here. We’re talking quality Costco toilet paper and compostable wet wipes. Your backside deserves the executive treatment.
It's A Wee Bit Quirky
Even a palace has its quirks. If you're heading up for a morning session, keep these three things in mind:
Knee Room: If you have the legs of a professional basketball player, you might find your chin resting on your knees. It’s an intimate seating arrangement.
The Blackfly Fan Club: For some reason, the local blackflies are obsessed with the white seat. Whether they like the porcelain-colored plastic or your particular "white seat" remains a mystery, but expect an audience.
The 6 AM Wake-Up Call: At daybreak, that seat is... crisp. Nuff said.
Pooping at Connaty Farms is more than a biological necessity—it’s an outdoor adventure. It’s a place where you can commune with nature, dodge a few flies, and appreciate the simple joy of a well-aimed "drop" into the peat.
We haven't asked what happens when the poop chamber is full. Guess we'll be leaving that experience for the next work-aways.